Healing the psychological wounds of interdependence

Healing the psychological wounds of interdependence

Healing the psychological wounds of interdependence

Relying on code is more than a relationship issue. It damages our mentality and individual development. Make no mistake it is not our own fault. The wounds of code dependence are adaptive and help us grow into a dysfunctional family system. But this combination adds value to our individuality, authenticity, and our future quality of life. The beliefs and practices we learned after that caused trouble in adult relationships. In fact, they want to rebuild our dysfunctional family of the past.

Codensi's wounds began in childhood

Code neurons were both learned and passed down through the generations. It begins in childhood, usually due to self-reliant parents, who have been raised by parents who are intoxicated or mentally or emotionally ill. To survive, we need to adapt to our parents' needs, actions, and feelings at the expense of our own development. Repeated sampling shaped our personality traits into supporting beliefs, which were learned and assessed from the parents' behavior. It was created by our immature childhood minds in the context of complete dependence on their parents. One example is, "I have to cry, stop (or not express anger), keep, and love in order to be safe."

We create self-reliant individuals using abilities, happiness, or abandonment strategies to tolerate ineffective parents. These are healthy to use correctly, but code-based people are forced to rely on only one or two. While overcoming shame and co-dependence, I describe the process and personality of dealing with it as a master, a moderator, and a bystander.

Pediatrician and psychologist Donald Vancott believed that childhood trauma was a risk factor. It is a shock that affects more than one of our systems. Trauma stunts thinking and hinder our ability to carry out development work successfully. Imagine navigating a relationship while overcoming the threat of extinction of an insecure survivor, who should feel safe. He should be hyperglyphic in order to anticipate and interpret parental responses and adjust accordingly. The generals are suffering from mutual development. Instead, staying connected becomes our priority when we still have to deal with the trauma of ongoing relationships in our childhood and later as adults.

Therefore, the development of a complete physical soul is stunned by this habitat. Suitable Parents Needed Parents see their child as an individual. They should get their child's experience, empathy, and respect. It allows us to feel safe and develop a sense of self-worth. With code-dependent caregivers, we focus on them instead. We distort our mental state to become parents.

For example, how can a child move to safety and meet the needs of their love for careless, anxious, critical, or controlling parents? Anxious or abusive parents are our anxiety and fear. The controlling parent extinguishes trust and initiative. Criticizing or interfering with parents makes us unsatisfied and creates insecurity and self-criticism. These initial samples scan our perceptions of ourselves, our work, and our relationships. These and other ineffective parenting styles reproduce all the shame that we are bad, inadequate, and irreparable.

The cost of code dependence

The initial secure attachment with caregivers requires that we feel our unparalleled experience. Over time, our personalities and reactions become stronger. Our ability to reflect on ourselves, process new information, coordinate and respond is impaired, our reactions become complicated and our cognitive impairment is felt to be absolute.

As a result, our individual development is hampered by the sorting and deletion of data that can provide conflicting information. We formulate "should" and restrictions that are beyond our consciousness. We do this because, at the archeological, psychological level, the option feels terrifying that we can lose touch with another person (e.g., parents) and the general public. In support of this, we offer our parents' reactions to other people.

For example, some of my female clients have blocked the idea of their attractiveness and otherwise, it cannot be satisfied. Some people can have unnecessary cosmetic surgery and they are still beautiful. Similarly, for many code-based people, setting boundaries or asking about their needs seems selfish. They have a strong resistance to it, despite the fact that they are being exploited selfishly, hellishly, and with abuse.

Recovery challenge

The forerunners of our self-reliant personalities are buried in our past. For many of us, it all started in childhood. Some of us remember normal childhood and are not able to point out mistakes. Thus, our thoughts and reactions are undoubtedly an obstacle to learning from experience. In addition, the effects of trauma on the nervous system make our emotions both difficult and frightening to express. Changing our reactions and behaviors feels dangerous

We continue to behave according to the initial approach of the housing system, working beyond our conscious awareness. We are guided by beliefs we never believe in, such as common self-confidence, such as, "If I love, I love," and "If I am weak, I am judged and rejected." Will go "Furthermore, we interpret our experiences in a way that reinforces false, archeological beliefs. The permanent text confirms that we are dissatisfied with someone. Friend (or physician) attention." Removal proves that we are a burden and/or undeniable.

In the case of deep relationships, instead of questioning whether the partnership meets our needs or succeeds in loving, we conclude that we are in trouble. Our reactions to our misunderstandings can solve the problem we are trying to solve. In the case of the next relationship, of course, we can repeat this pattern.

Freud's desire for death is nothing more than an embarrassing response to a punitive critic who sternly expresses orders to imitate an abusive or controlling parent in order to avoid the horror of leaving a sensitive Turk. Or developed in childhood. Our inner orders crush our suicides and our emotions to the fullest extent, especially our ability to enjoy happiness. When our usual reactions to parental behavior are often embarrassing, we may not finally be able to access them. We become unconscious and live a "life" surrounded by anger, frustration, and emptiness.

The recovery process

We can treat our childhood trauma. In recovery, we learn lost skills, self-love, and healthy response. Studying enrichment in a safe, vibrant environment, separating our minds from the mound in which we grew up. We need an environment that welcomes experience and selflessness where we can challenge the restrictions that exist in our subconscious. Take these steps:

1. Seek therapy with a qualified doctor.

2 Attend anonymous meetings with co-dependents and work with sponsors.

3. Recognize your feelings and needs. This can be a difficult process. Emotions live in the body. Pay close attention to your postures, gestures and moods, and emotions, such as rottenness, numbness, anger, guilt, anxiety, frustration, and embarrassment. Feel the sudden change, especially from the feeling of uncertainty to confidence, and look absurd or scattered. How did you feel like a child - you might move from your true self to your code-based personality.

4 Discover the stimuli that change your mood and feelings and the beliefs, thoughts, and memories related to them.

5 Practice self-reliance to defeat fake and shame to speed up the process.

Challenge your own beliefs. See "Degramgramming Coordinated Brainwashing".

Face it by writing negative things about yourself. Use the 10 steps of self-confidence to challenge your beliefs and internal critics.

8. Test, play, and try new things